How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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