We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I have fence marks all over my body
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize