The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
