They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
