You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
