That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
