he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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