love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
