Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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