he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
