I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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