You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
