Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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