There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize