Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
