your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
