Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
She bit a glass in half.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
