So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
