i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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