i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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