This girl is more easily done than said...
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
