Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
