Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Are we still banned from the library?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
