i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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