One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
