You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
