Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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