escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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