Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
