That's intense
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
