Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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