Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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