my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Randomize
