Me. At least after what I've been through.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
