I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Randomize