therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
