I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
