Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Holy shit dude........stairs
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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