i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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