I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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