Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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