Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
