so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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