I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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