just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
