She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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