Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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