kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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