hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
