I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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