I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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