Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
