your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Swine flu. Run for my life!
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
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