Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
