we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
