Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
