did you get engaged???
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
