I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
