Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I cannot find my penis.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
